Wishing

The last time I saw you off at the airport
You said you loved me.
You said it like you'd never see me again.

I know how hard that must have been for you.
You're too like your father:
Stoic. Quiet. Suffering in silence.

I promised you everything would be alright.
Biting back
tears
sobs
wails
I told you I could manage the next few years alone.

When you graduate high school I promise
There'll be an apartment somewhere waiting for your luggage.
There'll be a room needing your ugly 70s-brown furniture choices.
There'll be a friend waiting to hold you close and not let go.
There'll be movies needing watching
Popcorn needing popping
Books needing sharing
Records needing cleaning
Guitars needing playing.

When you're ready, when you're old enough
I will help you start your own life.
If you want.

And I'll be clean.
And I'll have a job.
And I'll own a puppy
To show my responsibility.

For you, my comrade, my confidant, my friend.
For you my brother.
I'll be clean.